Here For Now

by Strongheld

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1.
Two hours outside of town, I find a spot on the ground and lie down, try to soak up what’s left of what’s left. Daydream, open my eyes and I’m in it. Nightmare, I wake up and it’s finished. Now I’m on my own. Am I all alone? I think we’d all agree it went to fast. I guess we’ll just have to wait till next year. I guess we’ll just have to wait till next time around. I’ve got this feeling in my gut again, that the warmer days of my year are coming to an end. The crickets are fading from my ears and goodbyes, goodbyes, goodbyes, they’re all I hear. They’re all I fear.
2.
Plagiarist 00:28
Forever a student, open mind every day. Recalling of things that made me this way. Forever a student, I need to learn. Searching for values, where do I turn. I’m more than a coldhearted, brainless lush. The walls are closing in no matter how hard I push. The only thing holding me is the clock on the wall. Am I the only one that’s feeling restless and small?
3.
“I don’t know how they do it,” you say, “stay on that boat for half their life. Don’t they know what they’re missing?” I say “I guess you’ll never know. I guess we’ll never know.” I find you outside, begging the tired question, “Why am I here?” It’s hard for me to look into reality’s leering stare. It just never seems to stop glaring back. Don’t be so quick to drop an anchor, when you feel comfortable. Don’t be so quick to drop an anchor, when you feel safe. Let yourself go. Don’t close your eyes. Sometimes what you want is what you don’t know.
4.
Stray 01:52
I don’t know how I fall asleep on buses, my head against the windowpane. I’m dozing off to the sound of falling rain and engines roaring. I ask, “Driver please, I’m the next stop off.” I know I don’t live here, I just want to walk with this bag on my back. This never happens when there’s nothing to do. I fell asleep again, day’s residue. It’s me and all of my friends on top of my roof, this never happens. It’s a relief when the road is long and my thoughts are longer. It takes my mind off being lost. But with the help of signs and good old-fashioned yellow lines I’ll find home. I find solace in the unfamiliar passing face. Around here, I’m anyone I want to be.

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released January 26, 2011

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Strongheld Pearl River, New York

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